one question...

how is it that people can just easily drop you from their lives?

i'd really like to know

No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

What is it that truly does not matter?

does love matter?

does carrying an emotional torch for someone truly matter when in a blink of an eye they can lose any and all care for you entirely?

it's said that when a seahorse finds a mate they stay together for the rest of their lives...

a female preying mantis also eats the head off of her mate after they conceive children...

which of these characteristics seems more like human nature?

advertising has us working job's we hate...to buy shit we dont need, so i ask

does success matter?

does financial success really matter when no matter how much money a man has he cannot buy back a past he is fond of or happiness he lacks?

does staying fit and healthy really matter when we are all going to die someday anyway?

i feel like i have been cheated out of something great...

there is no great battles to be fought in my time, no great threat on our lives by a foreign dictator commiting genocide on peoples he doesnt seem fit to live, no invading army threatning to take over and enslave everything and everyone we hold dear...only a government that lies to us and the greatest war of all time...the war against myself, there is no medal for that, they don't hand out rewards on national television for conquering yourself, the only reward, is perfect peace with the universe

my great war...my ultimate glory...is to know and understand everything about my enemy, to conquer him and triumph, to have complete control, a clear mind, an unwavering dicipline, to become an enlightend being

what truly matters in this world?

to have the strength and courage to keep moving foward even tho a hailstorm of arrows is raining down on you, the strength to take pain and turn it into wisdom, and the knowledge to knwo that in the end...everything is the way it should be...

the trust that the universe will work itself out...

My Moment Of Perfection

"The perfect blossom is a rare thing. You could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life" - Katsumoto: The Last Samurai

this ideal...that you could spend your whole life seeking perfection and it would not be a wasted life...is ultimatly what most people strive for...

perfection, what is this perfection we seek?

perfect health? perfect wealth? perfect happiness? perfect love?

i think there's more to it

perfect harmony

perfect peace

perfect chaos

perfect hate

a moment is all that you can expect from perfection

Katsumoto had a moment of perfection...the moment he died he realized that every blossom was perfect, with his dying breath he experienced what most people search for and never find...

i hope that someday i can experience a moment of perfection.

ég gaf ykkur von sem varð að vonbrigðum.. þetta er ágætis byrjun

I gave you hope that became a disappointment.. this is an alright start

I am Jack's still beating heart...i am the processor in the super computer that is Jack's body

I am Jack's overworked brain...i am the 40 gig harddrive that stores the information in the computer...

sometimes...the harddrive crashes, the readwrite heads touch the disk and the information in the computer is fried temporarily...this is where the processor takes over and keeps the computer going...it tells you things...things your fried harddrive believes without question, takes it in and stores it in the parts of the disk that are repaired or havent been destroyed...this data though good in nature is malicious...it eases the harddrive for a period of time but as soon as the harddrive is back up and running...the information starts to wreak havoc on the harddrive again...starting the process all over.

unlike a real harddrive i cannot go into the registry that contain these bad pieces of data and erase them

unlike a real harddrive i cannot defragment these pieces of data so that my programs run smoother...

unlike a real harddrive...i cannot unsee...all that i have seen...

on the contrar, like a real processor i can overclock my heart, make it work more then it should...make it hurt more then it should...at this point the only method of recovery is a complete system reboot...

a reboot should do nicely for me

Near Life Experience

Tyler Durden: Guys, what would you wish you'd done before you died?
Steph: Paint a self-portrait.
The Mechanic: Build a house.
Tyler Durden: And you?

And you? if i was in this situation, if someone was driving my car letting the wheel go free i dont know what i would answer to this question...

Tyler Durden: You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?

unfulfilled...i'd feel like my short 20 was in vein. not experienced all i can experience...the only real life experience i can say i have is 2 heartbreaks and 2 major deaths...

today i had a small near life experience, i was driving to school and the car in front of me was slowing down to turn so i decide to pass it, a pontiac solstice was comming up fast behind me and i go to pass and he doesnt seem to want to let me go so i just gun it, speeding up and sneaking right in the middle of the two cars, my heart raced and as soon as i did it i checked my mirriors in a panic to see if there where any cops around that saw me do it...it felt good, like a rush, must be what those people who bungee jump or sky dive feel, but this was more real, i was in real danger, i could have gotten rear ended or pulled over...those are what near life experiences really are

how many moments in your life have you looked back on and said "wow i could have gotten seriously hurt there"

how many moments in your life where near life experiences?

how many moments took your breath away and hightend your senses, made your heart race and your adrenaline fill your veins?

how many moments in your life defined who you are as a person?

if your experiences shapes who you are, then what experiences have i gone through to be who i am today?